I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
