I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
