he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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