the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
