i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
