hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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