I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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