did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize