Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
