I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
