you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
