I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
