I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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