Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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