Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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