Walk of Shame. In a state park.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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