Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
