Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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