I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
