I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
