what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Life is so much better after having sex.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
