Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
