She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
