she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
