Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
