I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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