Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
im on a boat
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