She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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