This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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