my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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