like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
