you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
