I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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