she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize