You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
