Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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