Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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