If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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