Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize