I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
