You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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