$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
