"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Non-Jews are for practice
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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