i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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