Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
