My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
