Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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