I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
