i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
