thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
