mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
