does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
