It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
