Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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