When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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