we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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