so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
