this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
