I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
