her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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