Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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