why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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