you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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