I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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