U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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