i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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