I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dicks are not precious.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
