She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
